(This is re-post of a column that's sort of in the "Nanny City" group: You've got a taxpayer-funded city department telling you how to be a better human being.)
Wednesday morning, I confidently came down the stairs dressed for work wearing my throwback 7-Eleven Greg LeMond jersey and some skin-tight bike shorts. My wife was not amused.
It was “Bike to Work Day!” part of “Fort Collins Bike Week,” and featured prominently in our “Bicycle-Friendly Community.” (To remind you that Fort Collins is a “Bicycle-Friendly Community,” the city has put up signs around town to tell itself what a good job it’s doing in the bicycle-friendly department.)
I threw my laptop into my backpack carrier and headed off to work on the Cannondale. (Don’t worry, I changed into normal clothes first.) After all, the city was serving up free breakfast for “Bike to Work Day!”
I managed to hit three of the breakfast stations on the way to work. One was out of food by 8:30 (ahem, Fort Collins Now sponsors), the next was serving frosted pastries (not exactly a smart breakfast when you’ve got another mile or so of cycling ahead of you), and the third was giving out a tasty breakfast burrito. I arrived in my office a bit sweaty.
And then, mid-afternoon, my wife called and asked me to pick up two gallons of milk on the way home.
Then it rained. Not “I hope I packed a rain jacket” rain. Big, angry, thunder-and-lightning rain that makes you acutely aware that you’re cruising around on the back of a big piece of metal.
So much for “Bike to Work Day!” Mother Nature reminded new cyclists why biking to work isn’t always practical. Oh, the irony.
The PR machine has been running full tilt this week, promoting bicycling. It’s healthy! It’s better for the environment! No kidding. Gee, I hadn’t realized that. Thank goodness we have the city to let us in on these important insights.
Feature stories have outlined some of the rules of the road for cyclists. Did you know that cyclists are supposed to stop at stop signs and obey traffic signals? (You might not have realized this if you’ve ever driven through Old Town.)
Then, of course, there was the annual “Bike Pedal vs. Gas Pedal Challenge” which pitted a bicyclist against a car on a series of errands. Clearly the errands did not include: “Pick Up a 4x8 Piece of Plywood at Home Depot” or “Realize that Your Kid Has Invited a Friend Over for Dinner.” Moreover, color me skeptical. Did the bicyclist stop at every stop sign? Wait diligently at every stop light? Did the reporters covering this bother to ask? I’m not much of a cyclist, but if you gave me carte blanche to run stop signs and cheat lights, I could probably get across town faster than a car. But my regular route to work is more than half “on-trail” and it still takes me about twice as long as in the car.
Yes, you read that right. I’m a closet bicycle-to-work guy. (I even own a zero-emission, carbon-neutral, self-powered lawnmower, so take that, lefties.) If I don’t have any extra errands to run or meetings to attend, I’ll often ride into work. But I’m getting a bit tired of being browbeat over and over again by the cycling nannies. Yes, we get it. Healthy. Carbon-neutral. Gotcha. If we didn’t have the city to tell us, how would we ever have figured out that pedaling a bicycle burns more calories than pressing down on a gas pedal?
The reality is that cycling is often unrealistic for most of us. If I’m lucky, I’m on my bike one or two days a week. And I’m self employed. Most people can’t show up at work sweaty. Most have errands to run during the work day. We have to drop off the dry cleaning, stop by the grocery store, or pick up the kids from soccer practice.
Look, we’re lucky to live in a Bicycle-Friendly Community. The trails are well-maintained. The roads are laid out to accommodate bicyclists. But can we ease up just a bit on the self-righteous preaching?
And yes, I stop at stop signs and traffic signals. Do you?
Fort Collins Now, June 2008
It was “Bike to Work Day!” part of “Fort Collins Bike Week,” and featured prominently in our “Bicycle-Friendly Community.” (To remind you that Fort Collins is a “Bicycle-Friendly Community,” the city has put up signs around town to tell itself what a good job it’s doing in the bicycle-friendly department.)
I threw my laptop into my backpack carrier and headed off to work on the Cannondale. (Don’t worry, I changed into normal clothes first.) After all, the city was serving up free breakfast for “Bike to Work Day!”
I managed to hit three of the breakfast stations on the way to work. One was out of food by 8:30 (ahem, Fort Collins Now sponsors), the next was serving frosted pastries (not exactly a smart breakfast when you’ve got another mile or so of cycling ahead of you), and the third was giving out a tasty breakfast burrito. I arrived in my office a bit sweaty.
And then, mid-afternoon, my wife called and asked me to pick up two gallons of milk on the way home.
Then it rained. Not “I hope I packed a rain jacket” rain. Big, angry, thunder-and-lightning rain that makes you acutely aware that you’re cruising around on the back of a big piece of metal.
So much for “Bike to Work Day!” Mother Nature reminded new cyclists why biking to work isn’t always practical. Oh, the irony.
The PR machine has been running full tilt this week, promoting bicycling. It’s healthy! It’s better for the environment! No kidding. Gee, I hadn’t realized that. Thank goodness we have the city to let us in on these important insights.
Feature stories have outlined some of the rules of the road for cyclists. Did you know that cyclists are supposed to stop at stop signs and obey traffic signals? (You might not have realized this if you’ve ever driven through Old Town.)
Then, of course, there was the annual “Bike Pedal vs. Gas Pedal Challenge” which pitted a bicyclist against a car on a series of errands. Clearly the errands did not include: “Pick Up a 4x8 Piece of Plywood at Home Depot” or “Realize that Your Kid Has Invited a Friend Over for Dinner.” Moreover, color me skeptical. Did the bicyclist stop at every stop sign? Wait diligently at every stop light? Did the reporters covering this bother to ask? I’m not much of a cyclist, but if you gave me carte blanche to run stop signs and cheat lights, I could probably get across town faster than a car. But my regular route to work is more than half “on-trail” and it still takes me about twice as long as in the car.
Yes, you read that right. I’m a closet bicycle-to-work guy. (I even own a zero-emission, carbon-neutral, self-powered lawnmower, so take that, lefties.) If I don’t have any extra errands to run or meetings to attend, I’ll often ride into work. But I’m getting a bit tired of being browbeat over and over again by the cycling nannies. Yes, we get it. Healthy. Carbon-neutral. Gotcha. If we didn’t have the city to tell us, how would we ever have figured out that pedaling a bicycle burns more calories than pressing down on a gas pedal?
The reality is that cycling is often unrealistic for most of us. If I’m lucky, I’m on my bike one or two days a week. And I’m self employed. Most people can’t show up at work sweaty. Most have errands to run during the work day. We have to drop off the dry cleaning, stop by the grocery store, or pick up the kids from soccer practice.
Look, we’re lucky to live in a Bicycle-Friendly Community. The trails are well-maintained. The roads are laid out to accommodate bicyclists. But can we ease up just a bit on the self-righteous preaching?
And yes, I stop at stop signs and traffic signals. Do you?
Fort Collins Now, June 2008
